Monday, January 23, 2012

Being Nice Is Weird!

I am finally writing a "just for fun blog." It's been awhile, a lot of things have come to my experience to find a lot of things we do in society that I just find funny, or ironic. This one is titled "Being Nice Is Weird," because a lot of the times in the world we live in, people think it is. But my focus is on a principle deeper than that. Things are socially acceptable if you do something to someone that would do the same thing to you. So doing something for somebody is either looked upon in a weird way, based if they would do the same thing to you in that situation. I'll give a couple examples of this.

Here at Byu-Idaho, service is really the only thing you can do to really help others. There are members here, so missionary work here is totally different than it would be somewhere else and many other things. So being nice and holding the door open for somebody is something that people appreciate because they feel it would be the right thing to do if they were in that situation. If you go somewhere else where everyone fends for themselves, if you open the door for somebody they might look at you weird and not say anything at all.

The second one is funny to me. Walking around on campus, I have discovered a pattern that many others have found just like me. Many people walk just like they drive! There is a normal lane on the sidewalk that you walk in found on the right side. And a passing lane on the left if you are walking faster than the person ahead of you. If someone is coming the other direction, you can't pass until they are clear. HILARIOUS! So what do I do? I walk on the left hand side of the sidewalk all the time, people coming from the other direction will look at me weird and walk to the other side to walk by and let me pass. Meanwhile I'm blazing through "Walking Traffic" from the people walking the same direction. What does this have to do with anything? The reason people look at me funny when I'm walking on to "Oncoming traffic" is because it isn't something they would do, and they have to change to the other side for a little while and they realize something is wrong. Try walking on the left hand side and you'll see what I mean.

Now that we understand the principle of what is acceptable and what isn't, we can focus on human character that I want to emphasize, why it is so weird to some people to be nice. There is a couple in one of my classes. The girl is really into the guy, but the guy just isn't feeling the same, you can tell. The girl looks up and smiles a lot, snuggles in close sometimes, laughs at everything he says. But he treats her pretty poorly, it's a sad thing. In another class, the guy is way into the girl, but you can tell she thinks he's kinda weird. They are together, but the girl just doesn't feel it. So the guy sits by her, "Hey I can help you with this homework, I get it." The girl really doesn't get it, I have noticed that she is usually lost. So the guy feels like the offer is a nice thing to do, while the girl probably thinks that he is just trying to say it as an excuse to hang out. Who is right between the two? I don't know them well enough, but I do know that the girl thinks it's weird, and from the previous couple, that the guy thinks she's weird for being so into him.

So now for roommates, friends, and relationships in general. What if you feel that someone is doing something you don't like, or if someone doesn't like what you do? Maybe leaving the dishes in the sink for awhile because that is what is okay with you, bothers somebody that wouldn't do the same and clean them right away. How about somebody setting you up on a blind date with somebody you wouldn't date, when you know you wouldn't set him or her up with somebody they wouldn't date? Finally, watching rated R movies is something you are okay with, but your roommate comes in and tells you that they don't like R movies and asks you to turn it off. Isn't there some animosity in those situations? So sometimes standing up for your standards in a world with low standards can be frowned upon right?

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  This is more of a reflection of character than anything. Some people wouldn't ask a friend if they could help or if they were doing alright, then that person has their friend ask them if they are doing okay; sometimes the impression is that he or she is always in my business, because it's not something they would do. But if you had the same motives to help that person, wouldn't you understand why they ask that a little better? Then since it is something you would do, it is acceptable. Or maybe you give your last dollar to somebody who needed your help, as a sacrifice you starve for a day so you could afford it. Then later on, you are out of money and have nothing. Then that friend steps in and helps you in your time of need. That is how it should be. In the world we live in, many people have low standards and aren't nice people. Sometimes when you do the right thing, it won't always be acceptable. You can't change everyone around you though, but you can change yourself. So next time you have an issue with somebody, find out if it's not because you are the one with the issue, not them.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

What makes people like each other? Part 3

As I wrap up this section and topic of blogs, I wanted to share the part that I feel is most important. Reciprocation

Reciprocation: The definition is a mutual giving or receiving. And this is very relevant for relationships because both people have to be willing to work at it if the relationship is to last. But I'll give you an example just in case you can't think of the application right away.

So you have two people that text each other. Well there are many different kinds of text personalities out there. One of them is the one word answer, the other is the long winded, another is the type that has smiley faces, exclamation marks. And sometimes there are a few mixed together and there are many more types out there. Now when people text each other, they hope that the other one will "reciprocate" what they do. So a girl is sending a text that explains her day, and everything associated with it. It was a long day! And a lot happened! And so she sent it hoping that the guy will understand her day and at least appreciate it. Then the guy sends a text back saying. "Crazy." The girl goes nuts! She took the time to say that and all he has to say is crazy? And since we tend to avoid punishment or doing something that doesn't go appreciated, eventually she won't look into him. That might be after he likes her like "crazy" or is really into her. But she might lose interest in him because he might not show how involved he is, and since he is not reciprocating, a good relationship could be lost.

This is true for a lot of personalities we like as people. I know that there are people that I couldn't date simply because it wasn't worth the pursuit when I didn't have mutual feelings and actions that they did, whether they liked me or didn't like me. And since no one wants to be burned, they will avoid someone that doesn't show commonality in them at it's earliest signs. Now granted, some people are terrible at interpretations signs or expressions that show their interest, and some are terrible at showing the signs. But when it all comes down to it, conformity is the best option.

I am currently involved with a girl that has an almost identical personality and interests that I do. There are no awkward moments, if so, they are on purpose for entertainment and laughing. And the interest is mutual. I feel like this is how things are supposed to be, and I hope that you have enjoyed hearing about what makes people like each other.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

What makes people like each other? Part 2

Image DetailWhat makes an appealing personality?

Birds of a feather flock together? Or Opposites attract? Or in other words, are we attracted to people that are the most like we are as individuals? Or people that are most different from our personality. 

You have seen them, couples that seemingly exist to directly oppose everything about the other in personality. This couple, for example, could have a really shy guy with the most outgoing girl in the world. Like the guy acts like Shamoo in public while the girl doesn't say a word. Then you have the couple that are extremely alike. A couple that are so much alike that they seem like they are brother and sister. But not in a creepy way, I know what you are thinking. Now, I want you to think about someone that you have liked before or someone you have or do like in a relationship. What was it that brought you to like them? So the answer... Research shows that birds of a feather flock together on this one. Why? Just because a shy person isn't as social as their outgoing partner, it doesn't mean that they don't enjoy being social. They just may not have the social skills the other one has. So someone's skills do not always show their interests. It's kind of like me with my singing, I'm no Justin Bieber, but I'll still sing anywhere... Work when I am in an aisle in the store with a little dancing going on; school when I am passing people on campus; the shower; in the car when I'm passing other people and they are watching me jam out.

A like-able personality
This one comes from the realm of security. An insecure person can behave in a plethora of ways. 1) Lack of trust: This is someone that has to have all the information about you, but doesn't let any info escape from their mouth about them. 2) Ambivalent or an imbalance of attention: CLINGY! This person most likely had a life of  an unbalanced love relationship. Sometimes they get the attention, most of the time they don't. So they thrive on the moments they feel loved. Therefore, in a relationship they could be clingy because they want that attention all the time. Of course, this isn't the only reason this attachment happens, and isn't permanent either. Any of these attachments can be changed. Where are you? What are you doing now? How about now? Let's hang out... FOREVER! 3) Abusive: Fight for your right. The top dog gets the meal. If you wonder why someone can handle a relationship like this, or have met someone that keeps going back to the same jerk. It depends but most likely they want the protection, but it comes at a price. Now, finally a secure attachment to the other: This is a very like-able, trust-worthy, trusting, dependable person. They feel loved and have no problem loving others. This is the one that is attractive! But you won't usually find the combination of the hot guy in the HUGE TRUCK. You gotta be willing to see them inside the person, not in the truck. But if someone you know, or if you act like one of these, it can be changed! There is always an underlying problem that makes someone insecure that can be fixed.

There isn't much that explains what makes you like certain characteristics. Most if it is learned behavior. I'll give ya a look into my preferences. My old celebrity crush used to be Kate Beckinsale. Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot. I was into brunettes for so long! But now I'm more of a Heather Graham guy, (Sorry, I just watched Austin Powers) So I switched to blondes out of nowhere. And I have always been an eye type of guy. If the girl has big blue eyes, I'm done. Anyway, enough about me. Some people like nose rings, feet, elbows, any of those random things. I once met a guy that liked it when girls had ear lobes....It was weird but just sayin. But this is how it is with personality also. Find out what you like. How open they are, motivated, independent, selfless, nice, controlling. Maybe your into weirdos.Whatever it is, make it count. 
I am done with this one, it's kinda long and boring but I hope it helps answer some questions or ignite new questions. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I appreciate comments and ideas.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What makes people like each other? Part 1

This blog will be focused on how a crush develops, what makes someone like others, and what we can do to better our standing in society to be more appealing, all at the same time. I hope you enjoy this, cause I did. So lets begin.
Physique: Body type, did you know that there is an average body type that people like? And it's probably not what you think. So the media is doing a great job of shaping society into whatever they like. The fact is, we like feeling miserable, so much that we will pay good money at a theater to cry, get upset, and even frustrated. Then, if there is a good ending, we will leave and tell everyone that it was a "good" movie. I don't think so. So ladies, tell me if this guy looks appealing to you?

                   Guys can learn a lot about this. Most guys are trying, or at least desiring to be super muscular. What kind of girl wants to hug that? Maybe this one.

                    It turns out that girls like someone that is slender but athletically built. So not a stick figure, and not a guy built like a tank, but someone that is well in between.
So now fellas, tell me if this looks appealing to you?

                     I just threw up anorexia all over the place, and they did too. Sadly, most girls want to be skinnier. So many girls are trying to lose so much weight, but the truth is, a guy doesn't want to feel your rib bones when cuddling. It turns out that the average guy likes a girl that isn't super skinny, but someone that is slender and isn't a toothpick. Oh and girls, it helps us if you can put the food away. It is super awkward when a guy wants to eat at a restaurant, the food arrives, and all he wants is to scarf down the food but the girl is slowly pecking away at the food.
So what makes an attractive face? How about we let the babies show us up on this one.
I put a baby girl on purpose, because Justin Beiber has every girl in the world liking him. And I just Beiber'd all over the place.
So there was a study, and it turns out that when babies looked at faces, they tended to spend more time looking at faces that were more symmetrical, and would turn away at faces that were not symmetrical. Because it is easier for the brain to process a symmetrical face. If you don't believe me, what is the first thing you want to look at when someone has a big pimple on their face. You know something is wrong, your senses are built to notice change! And as a result, we think that a symmetrical face is hot, and a non-symmetrical face is ugly. Whatever is easy on the brain, doesn't that sound a little lazy? But it is true.
I hope this opened your eyes on some physical things that makes the human brain attracted to them. Tune in next time for what makes a like-able personality.
Brett Jones

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Women are like Airplanes Part 2

Here it is, the moment you have been waiting for gentlemen. Trust me, all you girls will love this too. Have you ever heard this phrase before? "Women are so complicated!" Well, this blog is about to reveal how a woman thinks. I recommend reading last week's blog to fully laugh and appreciate what will be mentioned here.

Unlike guys, there is a little more to a woman's mind. In order to understand this, we have to use the airplane analogy. A woman's mind is like Air Traffic Control. To explain what this is, at airports you have men or women in a tower that scan for incoming and outgoing planes. When a plane is about to land, the person in the tower signals that airplane to land while the others circle about in the sky around the tower. Sometimes more than one airplane can land at a time depending on how many runways are open. Then they leave. Now, I want you to picture each of these airplanes being an individual thought, kind of like the waffle square used last week. These thoughts spin around in a girls mind, and when one lands, that individual thought is on the thought runway. Remember, more than one can land at a time, this explains why a woman can be talking to you about one thing, then quickly bring up a random new topic all in one breath! They have to get it out there when the plane or planes land! This also explains why girls are much better at multi-tasking. Then the plane leaves and the thought is gone. Now I am going to give a story of a couple on a date using the airplane perspective on a woman's aspect.

I will begin with the airplane thoughts in the sky on her mind. Did I unplug the toaster? I should call my friend and give her comfort. My boyfriend is awesome! My dog just died :'( Did he notice that I got my hair done? I love Italian food! Okay lets begin the dialogue.
Jeffrey: (Walks to girlfriends door to pick her up, knocks, she answers) Hey! I brought you flowers!
Bonita: Oh how thoughtful of you!!! (I hate tulips)
Jeffrey: Let's get some food! I'm starving! (Food square)
Bonita: I'm craving Italian (Italian food airplane lands, as I should have called my friend lands too) Dang it!!!! I totally forgot. What am I doing with my life to deserve this!
(Now Jeffrey thinks she hates him. Jeffrey goes into confused square, and has a brain overload while trying to process what is going on.)
Bonita: Okay lets go!
(They get to the restaurant, Jeffrey orders bread and water. Bonita is ticked because now she doesn't know what to get on the menu that would be cheap enough for Jeffrey to pay for. Jeffrey thinks that he just let a huge window open for Bonita thinking now she knows she can get whatever she wants and it won't be an expensive date.)
(Oddly enough, the "my boyfriend is awesome" plane lands)
Bonita: Jeffrey, you are so awesome. (Bonita laughs) (Jeffrey builds confidence and tells a joke)
Jeffrey: What kind of Burrito are you?
(Bonita comes from a hysterical laugh, and fades into sobs, "My dog just died" plane lands.) (Jeffrey goes into panic square.)
Jeffrey: I really like your hair, it looks nice.
Bonita: Thank you!!!!!!! (Did he notice my hair airplane just exploded)
(They enjoy the rest of their evening)

Guys and girls are quite different. A caveman guy is all about "Deer....Hunt....Kill." While the cave woman is back in the cave slaving over a stove for dinner, while bouncing Obadiah, stops to change Zedekiah's diaper, washes her hands with Amalia, while picking things off the ground with her toes to clean the house as she does all these things. At a campfire setting, a guy is in fire gazing square. Nothing is being processed in his mind but, " oh that ash might catch the" The girl is thinking, "look at his face, he is in deep thought. He must be thinking about me. It's cold out here! Why hasn't he held my hand yet? Am I not giving enough body language? Too much?" Then the question comes. What are you thinking about? The guy freezes. He can't tell her that he was thinking about nothing at all..

I hope this has opened your eyes to a whole new world on the dimensions of how people think. Because they can compliment each other. Guys, when they focus on one thing they go all out. So when they are in girl square, they can do a lot of things that benefit her and other things. Girls are much better at keeping track of things and multi-tasking. Guys struggle with this so they need all the help they can get. Thanks for reading! Did you enjoy it? Post a comment, follow up, or publicize this blog. The buttons are on the bottom, don't be afraid to use them! Tune in next time for more insights on humanistic phenomenon's.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Men are like waffles

Some of my closest friends have heard about this theory of how men and women act, and it might be the funniest thing ever! I cannot take full credit for this, I heard the analogy from a man that visited my seminary class in Preston, Idaho. He spent his life studying the behavior and personality of how men and women think. I have taken this into account and have added my own spice and experience to this. I hope you enjoy the first part of this full perspective on men and women.

Guys are like waffles. Now I am going to briefly describe what I mean, imagine a waffle in your head right now, there are a bunch of squares. Now, a guy has a very basic, simple based mind that operates like these little squares. Each of these squares is a thought that can occupy a man's mind one at a time. If you were small enough to fit in a little square in a waffle, you would be trapped inside because there are 4 walls surrounding you. The same goes for a man's thoughts, they can only be in a square at a time. This is why multi-tasking is really tough for a guy! They have to jump back and forth in different squares to do it! I will now give you a short story to solidify the point.
So, Jeffrey wakes up. He gets dressed. He drives to work. He works. He gets hungry and stops at a fast food place while driving home. He pulls over to think about his girlfriend, (He didn't want to wreck while thinking about his girlfriend, that is too dangerous.) So he drives to her house. When he gets there the first thing Sofia says is: "I have been thinking about you all day, did you bring some food for me?" (Now, we all know that he didn't think of his girlfriend until after he got food! There is no way that he thought to buy her food! But he knows that if he doesn't give her something, she'll know he wasn't thinking about her; and she was the one thinking about him all day. What does he do? He goes into lie square.) "Of course baby, I brought you home so McDonald's cause I thought you would be hungry :-D" So Sofia says, "You are the sweetest boyfriend ever, but you know I don't like onions!!! I thought you would know that by now!" Jeffrey got owned.
Surely for you girls, you have been on a date or hung out with a guy with a one-track mind. Maybe you were telling them an important story while he was texting, and the only response was "Yep." Or maybe you are sitting by a campfire, and looked over to see a blank face on your man. This is fire-gazing square, there is nothing on his mind right now, just an awe-like expression of how awesome the fire is. Guys have been like this even since the cavemen. To quote my Mission President, "To compare the difference between guys and girls to cavemen, guys have a one track mind. When the family needs food they go hunting. And the only thing on their mind is: Deer....Hunt.....Kill.     Deer....Hunt....Kill. AND THAT IS IT!" -President Cutler- (Stay tuned for the next blog for what the girls are like.)
I hope I have opened your eyes on how a guy thinks. Guys, we are simple and it's okay. Girls, we are not really all that complicated, but now that you know this you can better understand men in your life and know what to do with these basic instructions. And when it all comes down to it, Men Are Like Waffles
My next blog will be about how girls are like airplanes, tune in next time for part 2.