Monday, January 23, 2012

Being Nice Is Weird!

I am finally writing a "just for fun blog." It's been awhile, a lot of things have come to my experience to find a lot of things we do in society that I just find funny, or ironic. This one is titled "Being Nice Is Weird," because a lot of the times in the world we live in, people think it is. But my focus is on a principle deeper than that. Things are socially acceptable if you do something to someone that would do the same thing to you. So doing something for somebody is either looked upon in a weird way, based if they would do the same thing to you in that situation. I'll give a couple examples of this.

Here at Byu-Idaho, service is really the only thing you can do to really help others. There are members here, so missionary work here is totally different than it would be somewhere else and many other things. So being nice and holding the door open for somebody is something that people appreciate because they feel it would be the right thing to do if they were in that situation. If you go somewhere else where everyone fends for themselves, if you open the door for somebody they might look at you weird and not say anything at all.

The second one is funny to me. Walking around on campus, I have discovered a pattern that many others have found just like me. Many people walk just like they drive! There is a normal lane on the sidewalk that you walk in found on the right side. And a passing lane on the left if you are walking faster than the person ahead of you. If someone is coming the other direction, you can't pass until they are clear. HILARIOUS! So what do I do? I walk on the left hand side of the sidewalk all the time, people coming from the other direction will look at me weird and walk to the other side to walk by and let me pass. Meanwhile I'm blazing through "Walking Traffic" from the people walking the same direction. What does this have to do with anything? The reason people look at me funny when I'm walking on to "Oncoming traffic" is because it isn't something they would do, and they have to change to the other side for a little while and they realize something is wrong. Try walking on the left hand side and you'll see what I mean.

Now that we understand the principle of what is acceptable and what isn't, we can focus on human character that I want to emphasize, why it is so weird to some people to be nice. There is a couple in one of my classes. The girl is really into the guy, but the guy just isn't feeling the same, you can tell. The girl looks up and smiles a lot, snuggles in close sometimes, laughs at everything he says. But he treats her pretty poorly, it's a sad thing. In another class, the guy is way into the girl, but you can tell she thinks he's kinda weird. They are together, but the girl just doesn't feel it. So the guy sits by her, "Hey I can help you with this homework, I get it." The girl really doesn't get it, I have noticed that she is usually lost. So the guy feels like the offer is a nice thing to do, while the girl probably thinks that he is just trying to say it as an excuse to hang out. Who is right between the two? I don't know them well enough, but I do know that the girl thinks it's weird, and from the previous couple, that the guy thinks she's weird for being so into him.

So now for roommates, friends, and relationships in general. What if you feel that someone is doing something you don't like, or if someone doesn't like what you do? Maybe leaving the dishes in the sink for awhile because that is what is okay with you, bothers somebody that wouldn't do the same and clean them right away. How about somebody setting you up on a blind date with somebody you wouldn't date, when you know you wouldn't set him or her up with somebody they wouldn't date? Finally, watching rated R movies is something you are okay with, but your roommate comes in and tells you that they don't like R movies and asks you to turn it off. Isn't there some animosity in those situations? So sometimes standing up for your standards in a world with low standards can be frowned upon right?

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  This is more of a reflection of character than anything. Some people wouldn't ask a friend if they could help or if they were doing alright, then that person has their friend ask them if they are doing okay; sometimes the impression is that he or she is always in my business, because it's not something they would do. But if you had the same motives to help that person, wouldn't you understand why they ask that a little better? Then since it is something you would do, it is acceptable. Or maybe you give your last dollar to somebody who needed your help, as a sacrifice you starve for a day so you could afford it. Then later on, you are out of money and have nothing. Then that friend steps in and helps you in your time of need. That is how it should be. In the world we live in, many people have low standards and aren't nice people. Sometimes when you do the right thing, it won't always be acceptable. You can't change everyone around you though, but you can change yourself. So next time you have an issue with somebody, find out if it's not because you are the one with the issue, not them.

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