Sunday, September 18, 2011

What makes people like each other? Part 2

Image DetailWhat makes an appealing personality?

Birds of a feather flock together? Or Opposites attract? Or in other words, are we attracted to people that are the most like we are as individuals? Or people that are most different from our personality. 

You have seen them, couples that seemingly exist to directly oppose everything about the other in personality. This couple, for example, could have a really shy guy with the most outgoing girl in the world. Like the guy acts like Shamoo in public while the girl doesn't say a word. Then you have the couple that are extremely alike. A couple that are so much alike that they seem like they are brother and sister. But not in a creepy way, I know what you are thinking. Now, I want you to think about someone that you have liked before or someone you have or do like in a relationship. What was it that brought you to like them? So the answer... Research shows that birds of a feather flock together on this one. Why? Just because a shy person isn't as social as their outgoing partner, it doesn't mean that they don't enjoy being social. They just may not have the social skills the other one has. So someone's skills do not always show their interests. It's kind of like me with my singing, I'm no Justin Bieber, but I'll still sing anywhere... Work when I am in an aisle in the store with a little dancing going on; school when I am passing people on campus; the shower; in the car when I'm passing other people and they are watching me jam out.

A like-able personality
This one comes from the realm of security. An insecure person can behave in a plethora of ways. 1) Lack of trust: This is someone that has to have all the information about you, but doesn't let any info escape from their mouth about them. 2) Ambivalent or an imbalance of attention: CLINGY! This person most likely had a life of  an unbalanced love relationship. Sometimes they get the attention, most of the time they don't. So they thrive on the moments they feel loved. Therefore, in a relationship they could be clingy because they want that attention all the time. Of course, this isn't the only reason this attachment happens, and isn't permanent either. Any of these attachments can be changed. Where are you? What are you doing now? How about now? Let's hang out... FOREVER! 3) Abusive: Fight for your right. The top dog gets the meal. If you wonder why someone can handle a relationship like this, or have met someone that keeps going back to the same jerk. It depends but most likely they want the protection, but it comes at a price. Now, finally a secure attachment to the other: This is a very like-able, trust-worthy, trusting, dependable person. They feel loved and have no problem loving others. This is the one that is attractive! But you won't usually find the combination of the hot guy in the HUGE TRUCK. You gotta be willing to see them inside the person, not in the truck. But if someone you know, or if you act like one of these, it can be changed! There is always an underlying problem that makes someone insecure that can be fixed.

There isn't much that explains what makes you like certain characteristics. Most if it is learned behavior. I'll give ya a look into my preferences. My old celebrity crush used to be Kate Beckinsale. Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot. I was into brunettes for so long! But now I'm more of a Heather Graham guy, (Sorry, I just watched Austin Powers) So I switched to blondes out of nowhere. And I have always been an eye type of guy. If the girl has big blue eyes, I'm done. Anyway, enough about me. Some people like nose rings, feet, elbows, any of those random things. I once met a guy that liked it when girls had ear lobes....It was weird but just sayin. But this is how it is with personality also. Find out what you like. How open they are, motivated, independent, selfless, nice, controlling. Maybe your into weirdos.Whatever it is, make it count. 
I am done with this one, it's kinda long and boring but I hope it helps answer some questions or ignite new questions. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I appreciate comments and ideas.

1 comment:

  1. I'm definitely one that goes for commonalities. Not always, but if the girl is more like me, I have found that I'm generally more attracted to her than I am to anyone else. Not in a creepy way, of course.

    Glad you're no Justin Bieber, by the way. We don't need another one. :)